Don’t Hit Your New Year’s Goals And You Might Accomplish Something Great

I’m not the best at setting goals and actually accomplishing them.

Like the one time I got a couch from Craigslist and put the old one, affectionately known as “The Rock,” on the back porch with the goal of hauling it to the dumpster?

Couch

The Rock before the degradation by earth’s forces

Yep, it sat outside 2 years.

It became the hideous, unmentionable skeleton in the closet.

You thought I was accomplishing something with my life?

Until you looked out the back door.

Ah yes, the dilapidated, infested, weather-torn, demon-possessed Bel-rock couch from a budget horror film sat there in complete defiance to my highly ambitious life.

Goals mean NOTHING when you have no real intentions to making yourself uncomfortable to make them happen.

Would it have been uncomfortable to walk out to the back porch and carry the potentially (and highly-imagined) spider-infested, disease-carrying, snake-pit couch to the dumpster?

Absolutely.

But I chose the easy route. Leave it there. Pretend like it’s invisible. Let “time” take care of it.

It’s easy to not do anything. Or to make someone else make you do it.

Last year I sat down and wrote a lot of New Year’s goals for myself. Yes, many of them, like the trashing of The Rock, never came to fruition.

New Year’s Goals I didn’t accomplish in 2014:

Pay off all my credit debt

Pay triple my minimum monthly payments on college debt 

Run a 10K

Write one morning a week consistently for my blog

Go to 5 states I’ve never been to before

Participate in a flash mob

Go to a third world country

Go to a variety of cultural places of worship

Date regularly

Yeah, these things didn’t happen.

But let me tell you some things that did happen in 2014.

New Year’s Goals I accomplished in 2014:

Move to a different state

Live in a big city

Not use any credit card or incur further debt

Salsa dance regularly 

Hang out with people of different skin color

Hang out with the poor and homeless

Get involved with anti-trafficking in a big city

Be in a church that is highly diverse

Be in a very intentional community of discipleship

Have mentors

Workout at least 3 times a week

Looking at what I’ve been able to accomplish is neat, but sometimes if I write out all the things I accomplish it ends up not even being what I actually want, what I want my life to look like.

I don’t think it’s bad to look at the things I didn’t accomplish or the goals I didn’t hit. In fact, I need to look at those. If I ignore it, then I forgot my purpose and my dreams. Seeing what I haven’t been able to do allows me remember where I want to go and how I can make some decisions today that will allow me to keep going in the direction.

You see, you have to remember– this is about the journey. As you set a goal or start down a path, it’s really just amazing that you actually started! What happens next is bonus material.

Reaching the goals, missing the goals… it’s all a discovery process. Through it all I have learned who I am unlike any other time in my life. Because I had great expectations for myself and decided that uncomfortable was a greater risk than chilling out, making everybody else happy with my life.

It’s funny, though, because as I look back at this year sometimes I feel guilty that at this moment I’m genuinely happy and hopeful, because there were so many moments of hurt and despair.

But I also choose to think on the moments of “Ah, this is it!” Those aren’t moments you can dream up or put on your goal list. You think it’s a certain paycheck, or marriage, or babies, or promotion, or destinations?

It’s not. The moments I have found where I think, “This is what I want my life to look like,” happened as I was walking along daily life and was surprised. It happened around a table, during conversation, in an unlikely friendship, in a situation that was counter-cultural, in a moment that involved giving of myself to people.

Those moments had everything to do with love and being uncomfortable, to walk into a situation that I had no idea how it would pan out, and be at risk.

I had to pick up my own Rock Couch and move it on.

I think that’s what I want to do every day.

Not try to hit these New Year’s Resolutions necessarily.

But to walk into the uncomfortable. Embrace the awkward.

Try it. I can’t explain it, but it’s very freeing. And it will open you up to experiences of “Ah-ha, this is it!”

I’ve already written my New Year’s resolutions with every intention of not hitting many of them, but hopefully I’ll stumble into greatness on the path there! So any New Year’s goals you want to journey on to in 2015?

Break The Rules

Why is it we can’t say, “This is what I’m passionate about and this is what I believe in and this is why I do it?” 

Average

We go to jobs and churches and volunteer at organizations where we’re told what to do and believe in and have vision for. Then, of course, the moment we step out of the boundaries of the regulations, it’s “eh eh eh, don’t do that,” and the reprimanding ruler is slapped across our hand.

And then meetings progress and programs are created to solve the problem of “Why aren’t we effective? Why aren’t people doing excellent work? Why are our people hiding from us and not being transparent?”

Because when no one can break the rules, then forward motion, excellence and effectiveness are killed.

We tell people to be extraordinary then give them average limitations. 

Leaders, please stop doing that.

Dear employers, bosses, pastors, teachers, elders, coaches, and presidents, stop telling us to be great within the boundaries of your leadership perceptions. Quit controlling our dreams and passions for fear it will break your mold of perfection.

We can’t be great when you don’t trust us.

And then when we do try to be great and step outside of box, assuming you trust us because we believe you to be good leadership, you drop the hammer on our passions and crush us under the weight of “Who do you think you are? This is not all about you. Where did you come up with this? You are totally selfish.”

Oh, I forgot that all along this was never meant to be my passion. It had to fit inside your perception of permissible.

Let’s all just be clear and open right now, ok?

Leaders, when you tell us to be great, you have just given us permission to break the rules, because my ability of greatness is going to look different from yours, but it’s going to help you be greater in the long run as well.

So if you don’t want your people to be great, just be honest. Tell us that you just want us to do our jobs and be robots. It will help everyone all around. And there are some people that are ok with being robots. Find those and surround yourself with them.

But for those of us that want to change the world, you’d better be prepared to be uncomfortable. You can lead us, but you can’t manage us. We’re going to break the rules.

Because when you want breakthrough in the world, you have to break through rules and preset regulations.

To those who have found that seed of greatness within youself and want to live out awesome, realize that many leaders will not be ok with that. You’re going to face bullying, degradation, opposition, and hatred. You’ll have to walk away from those people and it’s going to hurt very much.

Because all you wanted to do was help. You just wanted to make a difference.

That’s the price of thinking, of believing in owning passion for yourself and not reciting it from some creedal mission statement.

I was drafting an email yesterday that I started off writing, “I’m on the Young Activist Council of an anti-trafficking organization and we are seeking to bring awareness of trafficking to Chicago.” And then I stopped, erased the whole sentence, and instead wrote, “I’m passionate about ending sex trafficking in Chicago and I was wondering if you’d like to help in bringing awareness of this problem to our city.”

It’s much more difficult to take ownership of passion. Because then you open yourself up to criticism.

Who do you think you are?

What credentials do you have?

Where’s your experience?

Who are your references?

What’s your education?

What’s your plan?

Why would you want to do this?

And sometimes all you can answer with is, “I believe in it. It’s my passion.”

Most people like rules instead.

Because passion is way too dangerous.

Exactly.

Let’s live dangerous.

Give people a reason to be afraid of you, then leave the religion behind, and walk into passion living.

There’s not many people walking that path of passion living. You’ll face a lot of fears and abuse and being vastly misunderstood. But it’s worth the freedom and joy that comes from actually living a life that means something, that has a point, that has purpose and intention in every action.

I’ve realized in my own life that the moments that I’ve had the most impact and purpose are the exact times when I’ve crossed the lines of rules and expectations at work, church and other organizations. And reality? I’ve faced opposition each and every time. But oh so much reward and fruit.

What rules do you need to break today that will allow you to live on purpose instead of robotically?